But if you concentrate on all of these negative things then you'll never be able to get past a difficult crux. I had to adjust my thinking pattern from, "what if i fall," to "how do i solve this problem." When you're concentrating completely on solving a problem and then you do fall, it's not scary, it's a release. When I fall I can finally relax and take a break. When you do get through a difficult crux the feeling of accomplishment is extraordinary. I find that climbing is a metaphor for life. We are presented with challenges daily and the way in which we focus our energy, either positively or negatively, will affect the outcome of our experiences.
Here's a copy of an e'mail I wrote after climbing Timewave Zero, in Mexico in 2005:
Date: Mon, 13 Jun 2005 21:02:52 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: timewave zero
i just got back from climbing timewave zero, an insane 23 pitch route in el potrero chico mexico to
the top of el toro (the longest sport route in north america)! over
2000ft in 32hrs.
i set out with my buddy kevin, who rode his motorcycle
down from vancouver, and another party of two other canadians from
ontario. we climbed the first 12 pitches and slept on a bivy ledge half
way up the mountain. it started getting dark and kev and i had to climb
the last three pitches in the dark with headlamps. the bivy ledge was
comfortable and there was enough wood to make a small fire. but at
around midnight it started showering which turned to hard rain. there
was a ratty old tarp with holes in it up there which we threw over
ourselves but we all got soaked and cold.
i think i only got about 1 or
2 hrs of sleep and we still had another 11 pitches to climb in the sun!
we watched the sun rise over the potrero and the clouds billowing and
swirlling through la boca below us.
kev and i started climbing at 8am.
we managed to stay out of the sun for the next 8 pitches although it was
closely on our tail the whole way. i was really feeling like shit,
climbing with only a couple hours of sleep and partially dehydrated. but
we keep going, bolt by bolt. i got through a very sustained 5.11a on
the 20th pitch and rested on a small ledge before attempting the next 5.12a,
the crux of the route. the bolts were very close together so i could
clip and pull on draws until i got to the crux. but after that there was
no cheating! i was up there quite a while working on the crux and fell
quite a few times figuring out the sequence and the holds. at this time
our friends mike and hugo were making their way up to the ledge below me
where kevin was belaying. i heard mike's scream of exhilaration after
on-sighting the 5.11. however, after hugo made it up to the ledge i was
very surprised to hear that they had decided to rappel down because they
were dehydrated. we were only 3 pitches from the top! how could they
turn back after climbing 20 pitches??! after, kevin told me that mike
was white in the face and he had been hauling hugo up almost the whole
way because he didn't have any energy. on reflection it makes sense
because they only brought up 4 litres of water between the two of them
for two days of climbing. kevin and i had hauled up almost twice as much
water and more food than them to the bivy ledge and we had gone through
almost all of our water by this time. so as they began the long decent
back down the mountain, i continued to work on the crux of the 5.12. i
was stuck at a point where there just weren't any holds to grab onto. i
saw a big jug further up the wall but it seemed out of reach. after
trying sidepulls and intermediary holds, failing, and falling, i called
down to kevin that i was going to try and dyno for the jug. so i pulled
up to a good ledge for my left hand and hiking up my right foot to a
flake, i curled my body into a ball and mustering all my energy together,
extended my legs and arms and hurled my body upward, reaching out with
my right hand and grabbed that jug. and i stuck it! i couldn't believe
it! kevin and mike were yelling like crazy below me, "yeah chris! come
on! go!" but the bolt was still further up and i hadn't thought of what
i was going to do after getting to the jug. but i hung on and kept
climbing and clipped that bolt and yelled down, "yeah, let's get to the
top of this mountain!" kev and i flew up the next two pitches reaching
the summit in the brilliant sun and wind. the view was incredible. you
could see the town of hidalgo with the cement factory below, the
campgrounds, la boca, estrellita and pancho villa across the canyon, and
the green cactus covered bowl of el potrero opening to the other side.
kevin and i shared a heartful cheer and embrace as we took in the
panorama. after stripping off all my heavy gear we cracked open the
summit register and flipped through the entries. many short messages and
familiar names from the last 5 months were scrawled into those pages.
after resting, taking in the sun, and the last mouthfuls of our water,
we began the long rappel down to the ground. after stopping breifly at
the bivy ledge to collect our gear, we rapped the next 12 pitches and
made ground by dark. we made our way down the path from the surf bowl
and dihedrals to the spires and outrage wall and finally to the road
back to mike and hugo's casita. on the trail down we came across a black
bag with a 6pack of cool cervezas inside. we found out later that magic
ed (papa potrero) had saw us reach the summit and left them for us.
it was an incredible experience that i never thought would happen. when
i first arrived in el potrero chico i never would have imagined that i
would climb TWZ. especially with a partner like kevin (he had never
climbed before january and had only climbed 4 pitches in the previous 2
months), having had only 2 hrs sleep and using gear which had all been
borrowed from various other people. but we made it to the top and got
back down in one peice, an incredible testament to will, perseverance
and the human spirit. kevin says that he made it up there through
gumption.
after an experience like this it seems that any goal, any dream is within reach. all you have to do is start. and to try. and the next
thing you know you're half way there doing it. and even if you don't
make it all the way you will have gone further than all others who did
not dream and did not try.
i've learned many things on this trip but of the most important is to
know what you want. you have to know yourself before all other things.
and once you have this, once you know what you value, everything becomes
so simple and clear.
your friend still in mexico and high on mountains,
chris
From Apollonius I learned freedom of will and undeviating steadiness of
purpose; and to look to nothing else, not even for a moment, except to
reason. --Marcus Aurelius
ㄋㄌ
cMc
"Let one walk alone, committing no sin, with few wishes, like an elephant in the forest." -GITS2:I
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